:: Randomness ::

:: Autumn days are so invigorating! ::

:: I don't believe in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy, but I am starting to believe there is a Pencil Sharpener Theif and a Pacifier Monster visiting our house daily. ::

:: 9-month-olds are sooo much work fun! ::

:: Spending time with siblings which I haven't seen in months & years is such a privilege. ::

:: I'm beginning to think that no matter how old I get or how much I learn, I will never really figure God out. And I'm trying to figure out if that is how He wants it to be or not. ::

:: My brother is getting married in 19 days! ::

:: De-junking & hauling many bags of "extras" to Goodwill feels extremely satisfying. ::

:: I love to sing to my little ones in Spanish. It is such a beautiful language, and it seems to flow like a lullaby. ::

:: I am so blessed to have amazing friends!! ::

:: Homemade bread just out of the oven = a little slice of heaven. ::

:: Where is a mom of many littles supposed to fold laundry?? ::

:: I am loving the MUMS on my kitchen table. ::

:: My hubby makes some killer apple crisp! ::

:: If rejection still hurts, does that I mean I still have issues to deal with? Did it hurt Jesus? ::

:: The custard has to come out of the oven, & tomatoes gotta be diced up for supper. ::

:: I gotta run. *grin* Later - ::

Scrub-Top Make-Over

I love blogs that show make-overs. Old dishes displayed as gorgeous wall art. Ugly end tables with a new paint job that look breathtaking. Or even tin cans sprayed with black-board slate and used for something beautiful. Often I wish I had an eye for things like that, 'cause I sure do love the end results!

A few weeks ago my mom & sisters & I were shopping at a second hand store. A few XXXL scrub tops caught my eye, mostly because they were in a cute Strawberry Shortcake pattern which my girls adore right now. I could not quite picture how I would make them over ... but they landed in my cart anyhow. *grin*

Tonight at 9:30 the inspiration hit to dig them out and see what I could do with them.

I cut the bottom half off for a skirt.

Then cut out some bodice pieces & sleeves.

Everything was already hemmed, and I used the original necklines too. Super easy!

Within an hour (and a nursing-baby interruption) these two were finished!! I'd like to add red ribbon ties yet at the waist, and Christi's may need a ruffle at the bottom for some length. But overall I was so pleased and surprised how easy & fun these were. I am gonna have some very smiley girls in the morning. {until I tell them they can't wear them to church! *smile*}

Call Her Blessed

Every now & then I drink too much Southern Sweet Tea. I think that the year I spent living in the South has forever corrupted us that way. *grin* A few select people here in the Midwest have learned the art of sweet-tea-making, but as a whole this part of the country offers bitter, nasty, unsweetened stuff that is totally unappetising. But that is completely besides the point ....

One such tea-laden night way back in January, I lay awake in bed long past a decent hour, wide awake. And as usual my mind was spinning. I remembered that my Beloved Mother was turning 50 this year, and I began to think, ... hmmm ... unlike my Father (who turned 50 last summer & strictly warned us NOT to throw a party), I bet she would love a party in her honor! In my mind, I began planning it all out .... dim lights, candles, flowers, glassware, elegance, ... right down to the theme colors of black, silver & lavender and the list of friends to invite. I knew I would do it, even though I had 7 months yet to plan it!

Fast forward to August, 2010. I had arranged the location. Lined up the decorations. Ordered the cake. The guests were all invited. And the big surprise was that BOTH of my out-of-state sisters flew in for the party! And big surprise #2 -- my mom's parents drove out for it too! My house was just about buzzing with excitement and anticipation that morning of the 28th as I fetched my sisters from the airport, picked up the cake, and began last minute preparations.

~ Entrance Arbor ~

~ The Table ~

Finally the moment came when Mama was supposed to meet me to "go out for supper together". See, we had a plan. We had "reservations" at a "fancy place" and I was taking her out for her birthday. *grin* To say she was surprised would be a severe understatement.

Then the fun began. Over delectable hors-de'voirs, everyone shared how they first met Mama. Then everyone told a favorite memory of some way that she had impacted their lives. There was lots of laughter {remember the time she yelled 'yoo-hooo' to a golfer who was all set to take his perfect swing} and quite a few tears {where in the world would we be without her tremendous example}. It was most definitely a time of rising up and calling her blessed. Extremely fitting.

~Mama, her Mom, and her 4 girls ~

We love you Mama! Here's to 50 more birthdays!

I Can't

My Mama always taught me not to say "I can't". She would say that if you say that you can't, then you surely cannot. But say that you can, that if you will give it your best, you probably will do quite well. After all, "practice makes perfect!"

But the past months I find myself coming to tears quite frequently, with thoughts of "I just can't!" running through my head. Tell me that it is just a stage. Tell me that one day I will look back and laugh, and see how silly I was. Tell me that I have not lost my marbles & gone totally nuts. Somehow I do not remember my Mama handling life in any way but calm, peaceful, and completely in charge of her children, home, garden, yards, and many other duties. And I see other moms who do the same. And I was trained & raised to do the same. I knew I could & would.

So why then do I feel so snowed under? Why does my yard go up in weeds while I spend untold hours changing diapers, feeding & nursing babies, and reading stories. Why does my garden look like the prize weed patch of the county while I sit at the kitchen table teaching multiplication facts, cursive writing and how water condenses in heat? Why is there bedrooms in my home that embarrass me with how deep the mess is while I knead the bread dough and help little hands measure out flour & sugar & baking powder to bake a cake?

Why do I sooo many times come to the end of the day, get all the littles tucked into beds, and collapse into a chair trying to hold back the tears as I look around at the totally trashed house, and wonder what in the world I accomplished today? What am I missing here? Why am I feeling like such a failure to myself & everyone around me - in almost every area of life? Things that I used to value so much - gone ... things I said I would never do - I'm doing ... things that I never wanted to stoop to - I'm there. God, help me!

Sorry for dumping. Sorry it's not bright & sunny. Maybe tomorrow ... or next week. Or next year.