Complements, Anyone?

Today I told Micah {7} that he had to say 2 nice things about his sister Christi {4} since he had been rude to her.

Micah: ~looking at the ceiling as if searching for a revelation, then staring at Christi~ "Your hair would look better if you would comb it."

Me: "No, Micah. Something nice!"

Micah: "Weeellll, you have blue eyeballs."

Me: ~stifling my giggles~ "Micah! Seriously! Say something sweet and kind about your sister!"

Micah: "Ummmmmm, You are brave because you will jump off the tree branch and land on your bottom on the trampoline."

Me: "That's much better! Another one?"

Micah: "She is strong cuz sometimes she wrestles with me."


These guys crack me up daily. And any ideas for reducing sibling rivalry are much welcome! =)

Just Die

About 10 years ago, I was privileged to be mentored by an elderly man called Pilgrim Bill. My family had crossed paths with him as we sang in a ped. mall in Iowa City, and he became a part of our lives in ways that will probably forever impact me. He even lived with our family for many months. One of his main goals in life was to show how it looked in real life to follow Jesus. We had many late-night discussions of taking up the cross and following Jesus, as well as digging into all the verses such as the ones about a seed falling into the ground ...

One subject that sticks with me a lot from day to day is the whole idea of dying to self. I can almost hear him say, "Die, Lou! Die!" when my own will and desires would surface and try to get the upper hand. And over the weeks and months I did. It was a hard, seemingly endless road, but I really did learn what it meant to die and reckon myself dead. What JOY & FREEDOM I found.

However, as I have walked through life, I realize more and more than God takes that initial foundation of death and builds on it. That dying to self is gonna be a life-long series of events and lessons. And that the more I embrace this, the more like Jesus I become. But, Oh! It's just not much fun sometimes!

The latest in my path of dying-to-me events is involving the whole package of mothering 5 children. Yes, I know I have been a mother of 5 for over 7 months now, but for some reason now that the "newborn" can crawl and sit and pull himself up to stand, AND, recognise the moment mommy goes missing, I seem to have entered a whole new phase of giving up my wants & desires. I don't get one moment to myself most days. My personal time with God is stretched even thinner {tho I have taken to just chatting with him out loud throughout the whole day!}. The romance department suffers when we both have our laps full of infants & toddlers. My candy bar gets cut into 6 slivers. Travel time is spent in the back seat between carseats reading Seven Blind Mice and playing In My Grandmother's Attic instead of reading my book or sharing deep conversations with my Hubby. And this past weekend I felt it most keenly as we attended a huge 3-day family gathering in VA. While other visited and played games and had fun, I literally spent 98% of my time tending to, nursing, changing, putting down for naps, feeding, holding, and/or comforting little ones. And I had to keep reminding myself, that my life is not my own.

I am not complaining, really I'm not. I truly do enjoy being a mommy, and my little ones bring me great joy. But I would be less than honest if I did not admit that it is hard sometimes. And that I wonder at times what will be left of me when all of this is over. Then today God gave me a special little illustration of how death brings about such beauty ...

The boys & I have been watching these caterpillars turns into little cocoons. And then this morning we found one of them was ...

FREE!

I too will be beautiful one day!!

Summer

We may have taken leave of our senses this afternoon. But in the midst of packing for a long weekend trip to VA, we threw some fishing poles, watermelons, & baby strollers in the back of the truck and headed out for a family outing at the lake. I was kinda dragging my feet; kinda just wishing that I could stay in the groove of packing & preparing; kinda not impressed with dragging babies over hill & vale in the 99* weather.

But I should have known better. Should have known that there is such peaceful calm watching the clouds reflected in the glassy lake. Should have guessed that when Mama puts her heart into something, it will turn out just wonderful. And should have remembered that this is how memories are made.

We had such fun. The boys and their Daddy are die-hard fishermen. Beats me how alluring it is to them when the catching part of it is mighty scanty. (I mean, if I were out shopping and had to settle for such paltry deals for my time ... that'd be a dismal failure, right?) However, they sure do get alot out of all the baiting of hooks, casting of lines, and watching those little red bobbers. We fished until we were all drenched in sweat, then ran up the trail to the beach and dove in! Ahhhh! What a refreshing swim! All five of the kiddoes loved it .... even the Baby who kicked his little legs like a frog. Then sand castles with Daddy before heading on up the trail to make supper.

We finally headed for home around 10, after the boys had tried one last time to fish "in the dark because the catfish bite better after dark!". All crammed into the truck with sweaty, sandy bodies drooping into sleep. And drowsy babies snuggling against Mama. Yep, it's summertime alright.

Thank you, Father!

Two Tiny Teeth

~Two tiny teeth~

~Two sparkly blue eyes~

~A pair of baby feet~

~Two reaching little hands~

~A soft fuzzy head nestled in my arms~

~One totally melted mommy heart~

Love

How do you love someone who doesn't want to receive it? Or maybe they simply cannot receive it. Maybe they even push you away. Do you keep trying, keep showing love, keep actively pursuing? Or does it show more love & kindness to simply keep your distance? How does God handle these kinds of situations? Sometimes I just wonder ...

Speaking to God

I was mowing this morning, and as usual, took advantage of the "alone" time and extra noise to pour my heart out to God. Aloud. There's been so many conflicting thoughts running through my head & heart lately. . .

How do I approach the Almighty God when I need or want something? I recently was reading about how so many people come to God with a whole list of reasons why they do not deserve anything. I quote, "You get frustrated with yourself and angry at yourself and even hate yourself for not "getting it". It is at this point in our prayer when we are sure that God must be displeased with us for our shortcomings that we take a step of total unbelief and "ask" him for something we really want or need."

Okay, so then I should be coming to His throne with a confidence in my position of authority in the heavenlies, right? At least, that is how I'm hearing from a host of others right now. "Speak it! What comes out of your mouth is bound to occur. Just declare outloud what it is you want, and God will fulfill all your words as He shines his favor down on your life. After all, you are His beloved child! "

Hmmm. I can't quite wrap my mind around that. It seems so ... brash. Disrespectful. Could I possibly go to my earthly Dad and say, "Hey Dad! You know I am your oldest daughter, and I know you think the world of me because of how wonderful I have become! Therefore I shall boldly proclaim that you shall loan me $150,000 to buy the home of my dreams. Okay? Thanks, Dad! "

Ummmm, no. Don't think so. Then how in the world could I stand before the Throne of Heaven and say anything remotely the same? I couldn't. So how do I approach my Father? With confidence? Yes. With gratefulness? Absolutely. With humility? For sure. And with a good measure of reality. No pretending. Just me, my rescued, saved heart, and my loving Father God. I am learning so much about Him these days, and I sure hope he keeps teaching me how to commune with himself. It's something I need daily!

New Blog

Okay, I'm taking the plunge! There are so many blogs out there that I love to follow, and I've often wished for one of my own. What I really would love to do is to design one of my very own. But that involves venturing into a land of settings, html, formatting, templates, & editting that leaves me totally clueless how to proceed. Maybe one day I will master all of that, but for now I'll just take the blogging leap. Give me your ideas & thoughts!